Drunk Wedding: Movie Review

Random drunk idiots at a wedding does not provide humour or anything else.

Drunk Wedding. Well, let's see, grab a video camera, go to a wedding, record some random drunk guests and you'll probably get something better than Drunk Wedding. A style that needs to leave the world of cinema now, it's shot in shaky-cam from the point-of-view of the guests like personal home videos and is just as poorly shot and edited as any family wedding or holiday videos that you could grab from your own shelf.		2015 Directed by: Nick Weiss Screenplay by: Anthony Weiss, Nick Weiss Starring: Christian Cooke, Victoria Gold

Into the Storm: Movie Review

Into a whirlwind of intense stupidity.

“Let’s get outta here!” There’s a storm coming, so this means every character must scream that sentence every 20 minutes. Audiences should also heed their warning and just run aimlessly wherever you feel like it. The tornadoes (yes, that is plural, not just one tornado) in Into the Storm are far greater than anything ever recorded and not even storm shelters can save you.		2014 Directed by: Steven Quale Screenplay by: John Swetnam Starring: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies

Holy Motors: Movie Review

Meaningless ideas presented incoherently in an "artful" film.

“Holy Motors” begins with Monsieur Oscar (Denis Levant), a middle-aged Parisian man, in the back of a functionally tricked-out limousine. His assistant/driver hands him a folder, the first of today’s jobs, and he begins to transform himself into an old woman. Out on the street, Oscar passes himself off as a poor, begging, old woman, conning the passers-by. But is it really a con if he doesn’t get any money?		2012 Directed by: Leos Carax Screenplay by: Leos Carax Starring: Denis Lavant, Edith Scob

Straw Dogs: Movie Review

 

Straw characters living in a dull world which then turns violent.

“Straw Dogs” is a faithful adaptation of the original 1971 version. But only if your definition of “faithful” means scene-by-scene, word-for-word duplication, not if your definition means including the same thoughtful ideas that can stay with you after the movie ends. It’s also a thriller. But, again, only if “thriller” means nothing happens until we get a lot of gruesome violence at the end. Which apparently it does for most people.		2011 Directed by: Rod Lurie Screenplay by: Rod Lurie Starring: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgård

Friends with Benefits: Movie Review

Insulting romantic comedies, its fans, and everything else.

The thing about ‘Friends with Benefits” is that you have, in fact, seen it before. Not in the generic way the film implies that all romantic comedies are the same. But this exact movie was released earlier this year with the title “No Strings Attached”. And what’s worse is that vapid, uninspired, Hollywood-love-fest original is actually better.		2011 Directed by: Will Gluck Screenplay by: Keith Merryman, David A. Newman, Will Gluck and Harley Peyton Starring: Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake

Cowboys & Aliens: Movie Review

Action heroes versus cowboys and aliens where thinking is not allowed.

"Cowboys & Aliens" is actually just Daniel Craig versus cowboys and aliens. It's very handy that he has an alien countdown timer bracelet on his wrist that doubles as a special alien killing machine. It works better than guns and knives which is all that real cowboys have. But Jake Lonergan (Craig) doesn't know how he got that bracelet, or what his name is, or who he is. He does know English.		2011 Directed by: Jon Favreau Screenplay by: Too many to name Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde

The Four-Faced Liar: Movie Review

Starts nowhere, goes nowhere, and apparently that doesn't matter because it's New York City.

"The Four-Faced Liar" seems to have an interesting enough title, and it is done very well for its low budget. It also has a whole host of problems. Where should I begin? It doesn't really matter because the film itself doesn't begin anywhere, except, of course, in New York City. I'm starting to think that young film-makers have never been anywhere else.		2010 Directed by: Jacob Chase Screenplay by: Marja Lewis Ryan Starring: Marja Lewis Ryan, Emily Peck