Pretty Thing: Movie Review

Illogical trash dressed up as artistic.

Movies where an older woman has an affair with a younger man that turns into an obsession is not a new genre. There are dozens of movies literally named "Obsession" that are exactly this. I am concerned though that Babygirl’s recent success both at the box office and with critics, will spurn more terrible movies like Pretty Thing that attempt to elevate the genre in ways that just don’t work.		2025 Directed by: Justin Kelly Screenplay by: Jack Donnelly Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Karl Glusman

A Machu Picchu Proposal: Movie Review

Poorly written characters thrown together in beautiful Peru.

A Machu Picchu Proposal features some poorly written characters and a lot beautiful Peruvian landmarks and landscapes. Katie (Rhiannon Fish) is a no-nonsense, everything is planned, type of girl, a very prototypical Hallmark heroine, but here she is joined by twin brother Dan (Christopher Vieira), who is exactly the same. There are two characters whose entire personalities are that they like plans and schedules and hates impulsiveness.		2025 Directed by: Colin Theys Screenplay by: Juliana Wimbles Starring: Rhiannon Fish, Alec Santos

Off the Grid: Movie Review

About nothing so can’t be anything more than an action movie.

Off the Grid is about nothing. The plot summary has a pretty detailed premise: a scientist working for a company who wants to weaponize his research so he steals it and goes into hiding off the grid. It’s a solid premise with some good characters, but the problem is there is more information provided in that sentence than there is in the entire movie. So it’s about nothing.		2025 Directed by: Johnny Martin Screenplay by: Jim Agnew Starring: Josh Duhamel, Greg Kinnear

The Stranger in My Home: Movie Review

Trashy twists that actually lead to a happy ending.

The Stranger in My Home is the same team behind The Image of You (a campy trashy thriller about identical twins, schizophrenia and murder) by novelist Adele Parks and director Jeff Fisher. This one, a dramatic thriller about daughters switched at birth, is definitely the same genre, but a bit more grounded and while the twists do threaten to overshadow the drama, there are some solid developments as well.		2025 Directed by: Jeff Fisher Screenplay by: Adele Parks, Chris Sivertson Starring: Sophia Bush, Amiah Miller, Chris Carmack, and Chris Johnson

Villa Amore: Movie Review

A lovely romance that gets the details right.

Sometimes Hallmark gets the little details right, and it is such a breath of fresh air when that happens. The Villa Amore filmmakers did their homework, and got all the details right – taking a real Italian initiative and turning it into as realistic a romance as possible (for the genre). You have to allow for some movie-only characters but the plot is reasonable that everything just easily falls into place.		2025 Directed by: Clare Niederpruem Screenplay by: Alexandre Coscas, Nick Hopkins, Tim James Starring: Eloise Mumford, Kevin McGarry

Don't Tell Larry: Movie Review

Dark comedy with some laughs and some extreme contrivances.

Don’t Tell Larry is an Office Space-esque dark comedy, like a cross between The Office meets Borderline. It’s not nearly as sharp as Office Space, not nearly as funny, so it does fall flat in comparison, but this is still a well made, reasonably funny dark tale about how a weird co-worker accidentally sends a pair of ambitious co-workers on a crime spree with way more dead bodies than there should be.		2025 Directed by: Greg Porper, John Schimke Screenplay by: Greg Porper, John Schimke Starring: Patty Guggenheim, Kiel Kennedy

Band on the Run: Movie Review

Indie music meets unpleasant relationship drama.

The indie music scene from 1999 meets the road trip dramedy. Band on the Run does try to liven up the tired road trip and the dysfunctional relationships found therein by pairing it with an invite to the South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas and a rivalry with another local band, but most of the movie is not the music, most of the movie is the father-son relationship which is uninteresting and not enjoyable to watch.		2025 Directed by: Jeff Hupp Screenplay by: Jeff Hupp, Colby Clayton Lemaster Starring: Matt Perl, Larry Bagby

Spark: Movie Review

A time loop stuck on uninteresting relationship dynamics.

Spark sees Aaron (Theo Germaine) hit it off with a complete stranger as part of a bizarre birthday party scavenger hunt, but then after that initial spark, he relives the same day over and over again. Stuck in a time loop, Aaron is determined to figure out why – why Trevor and why himself. Maybe it’s the increasing commonality of the genre, but the characters just keep getting weirder and weirder.		2024 Directed by: Nicholas Giuricich Screenplay by: Nicholas Giuricich Starring: Theo Germaine, Danell Leyva

Things Like This: Movie Review

A charmless, soulless, meaningless rom-com.

Is Things Like This supposed to be about how overweight gay guys can find love too? Or is it about how insufferable assholes can find love? It’s a choice to make your lead character extremely rude to strangers and friends alike and then complain that he’s single because of his appearance. His boyfriend in the opening scene says he’s breaking up with him because he’s not hot enough and then corrects himself that it’s because he’s not hot enough and has a terrible personality.		2025 Directed by: Max Talisman Screenplay by: Max Talisman Starring: Max Talisman, Joey Pollari

F Plus: Movie Review

Smart kids dream up stupid plans.

A heist movie for middle school kids, or also known as the genre where kids outsmart and out-bully the teachers. A genre that can be a lot of fun when done right, or comes across as painfully stupid when not done right, and F Plus falls on the stupid side way too often. Starting with the title, F+ is not a real grade and yet all the smartest kids in school decided it was.		2025 Directed by: Kenny Beaumont Screenplay by: Jonathan Davenport Starring: Jennifer Esposito, Wells Rappaport

Worth the Wait: Movie Review

Tonally-wrong dramedy about boring relationships.

Worth the Wait is a multi-relationship dramedy with intertwining stories. All of the main characters are Asian-American with relationship problems. It’s great representation as there are no stereotypes to be found. There are also no interesting characters to be found, and to make it worse, the better actors have awful characters including some typecasting. The film also struggles with juggling between comedy and drama – attempts at silly comedy back-to-back with grief-stricken scenes of tragedy. Relationship dramedies are not supposed to be this hard to watch.		2025 Directed by: Tom Lin Screenplay by: Maggie Hartmans, Dan Mark, Rachel Tan Starring: Lana Condor, Ross Butler

Love in the Clouds: Movie Review

Stupid, soulless, boring and illogical.

The star of Hallmark movies is almost always the romance, when a lovely relationship develops between two mature and thoughtful adults. But when the rest of the movie is a soulless, bland, boring, illogical, immoral, and a completely thoughtless adventure in nonsense, it’s impossible to get swept up by the love between a reporter and a hot air balloon pilot.		2025 Directed by: Larry A. McLean Screenplay by: Lisa Hepner Starring: McKenzie Westmore, Paul Greene

Greek Mothers Never Die: Movie Review

A comedy about Greek mothers and daughters and their ghosts.

Greek Mothers Never Die is an indie rom com, turned comedy, turned fantasy, turned drama about grief and tragedy, turned musical. Or something like that, with a few coming-of-age themes thrown in for good measure. It’s mostly well produced indie production that knows the story it wants to tell but at the same time needs way too many ideas to tell that story. A story about Greek mothers and daughters and boyfriends and ghosts.		2025 Directed by: Rachel Suissa Screenplay by: Rachel Suissa Starring: Abby Miner, Simon Rérolle, and Rachel Suissa

Bad Influence (AKA: Mala Influencia): Movie Review

Could have been sexy and romantic, instead it’s campy and stupid.

What we have here is an “opposites-sides-of-the-tracks” romance, which typically works much better as romantic dramedy, and could theoretically work as an erotic thriller that Bad Influence is aiming for. When it works, it’s a sexy, intriguing romance. When it doesn’t work, it’s an over-wrought campy thriller with an under-developed screenplay, tacky editing, and poorly written characters. And man, I really wanted this to work.		2025 Directed by: Chloé Wallace Screenplay by: Chloé Wallace, Diana Muro Starring: Alberto Olmo, Eléa Rochera

Off the Record: Movie Review

A slow and poorly focused music drama eventually comes into its own.

Off the Record is the type of movie that could do very poorly with a misperception of its genre. A quick glance at the poster, plot summary and the cast – Ryan Hansen and Rainey Qualley (sister of current it-girl Margaret Qualley) – and one is entering the movie mistakenly assuming it’s a music industry romantic comedy. A costly mistake since this is absolutely not a comedy, but a drama warning about the misogynistic, cut-throat dangers of the music industry hiding amongst the dangers of an abusive relationship.		2024 Directed by: Kirsten Foe Screenplay by: Kirsten Foe Starring: Rainey Qualley, Ryan Hansen

California King: Movie Review

Fun, enjoyable and convoluted.

California King is a well-made indie crime-comedy that has a stellar set-up but gets a little muddled and off the rails in the middle. Our central character is fantastic: Perry (Travis Bennett) manages a mattress chain store in the small town of Nice, California. Perry is smart, friendly and easy-going, maybe too easy-going as he employs his best friend and incompetent moron Wyatt (Jimmy Tatro) and has done nothing for years about his unrequited crush on Lynette (Victoria Justice).		2025 Directed by: Eli Stern Screenplay by: Eli Stern Starring: Travis Bennett, Jimmy Tatro, Victoria Justice, and Joel McHale

The Life List: Movie Review

Ignore the premise, enjoy the romance.

The Life List is a simple lightweight romantic drama about helping a young woman out of a life rut. Part of my issue with the film is who says Alex (Sofia Carlson)’s life is in a rut? Well, her family, often and repeatedly, they offer this very odd ‘you’re not good enough’ lecture to her everyday. Personally I don’t think it’s for them to decide, but also if you’re going to always tell someone they suck, they are absolutely going to take that to heart and think of themselves as a failure, so really this all her family’s fault.		2025 Directed by: Adam Brooks Screenplay by: Adam Brooks, Lori Nelson Spielman Starring: Sofia Carlson, Kyle Allen

The 8th Day: Movie Review

Some interesting character developments, but very little action.

The 8th Day is primarily billed as an action movie, which is incorrect. It’s a pure crime drama with a touch of comedy. It has also been billed as a heist story with a female voice, and while this is definitely true, it can give away the ending when viewed from the female characters. A lot of this movie does look like every other crime drama, but it does have a slightly different flavour to make it a bit more compelling.		2025 Directed by: Alexandra Chando Screenplay by: Suzanne Weinert Starring: Darren Mann, Phoebe Tonkin

Borderline: Movie Review

Horror comedy which tries to balance fun and insanity.

Borderline fits right in line with the recent romantic comedy-esque horror movies like Companion and Heart Eyes. Although in this case the romance is all in the head of one deranged superfan, the comedy and horror elements are all front and center. Samara Weaving stars as Sofia, a rich and famous popstar whose cushy life has a rude and violent awakening and when one fan can’t take no for an answer, so instead she’s going to have to say, “I do.”		2025 Directed by: Jimmy Warden Screenplay by: Jimmy Warden Starring: Samara Weaving, Ray Nicholson

Candlewood: Movie Review

Creepy, unfocused and unlikable.

Filmed on location in New Milford, Connecticut, Candlewood is supposed to about the real urban legends which haunt Candlewood Lake. It’s a human-made lake from the 1920s which included flooding over a town. With that type of backstory, the urban legends and ghost stories that exist are unsurprisingly endless, most of which would make for a fascinating horror movie. But Candlewood isn’t really about any of those urban legends, it’s just about an unlikable family that goes insane.		2025 Directed by: Myke Fuhrman Screenplay by: Veronica Flores-Argue, Joseph Patrick Conroy Starring: Joel Bryant, Lisann Valentin, Isabel Lysiak, Coulter Ibanez

F*** Marry Kill: Movie Review

A campy murder mystery thriller with some fun.

There’s a very difficult line to balance between pure camp and a mash-up between romantic comedy and murder mystery thriller, and F Marry Kill struggles for the entire length of the movie. It often veers into camp despite multiple efforts to be a more legitimate comedic thriller. When the main character is constantly debating whether or not her dates are marriage material or a serial killer, it’s kind of destined to be the exact level of camp it ends up as.		2024 Directed by: Laura Murphy Screenplay by: Ivan Diaz, Dan Scheinkman, Meghan Brown Starring: Lucy Hale, Brooke Nevin, Virginia Gardner

Picture This: Movie Review

Focuses on family and Indian culture instead of romance and comedy.

As a romantic comedy, Picture This is light on the romance and sometimes funny. But Simone Ashley shines as photographer Pia, a single, independent, career-focused young woman who is one of the best heroines this genre has seen. The film gets off on the right foot, even though Pia doesn’t, when she has to hightail it out of her studio pulling on soccer shorts and flip flops which she loses one of on her way to a secretive meeting with her mother at the bank.		2025 Directed by: Prarthana Mohan Screenplay by: Nikita Lalwani Starring: Simone Ashley, Hero Fiennes Tiffin

The Stress is Killing Me: Movie Review

A complete lack of logic derails this comedy before we get to the thoughtful ending.

Not immediately clear from the plot description is just how much nonsense and complete lack of logic is going on here. We have eight friends from college, who were apparently best friends at the time of graduation but then most (all but two) went their separate ways and are meeting up now, twenty years later. The opening scene is just a montage of the actual reunion – a barbecue, some food, some games, lots of talking and laughing.		2024 Directed by: Tom Carroll Screenplay by: Tom Carroll Starring: Carly Christopher, Grayson Berry

Last Breath: Movie Review

Limited in scope, Last Breath sticks to the true story.

Last Breath is based on a harrowing true story of a deep-sea diver. The film is brought to life by filmmaker Alex Parkinson, who also made the 2019 documentary Last Breath. This is not a particularly well-known incident but Chris Lemons, a North Sea diver who miraculously survived a tragic mishap, has written about and talked about his experiences extensively so it’s easy to find and learn more either before or after watching the movie.		2025 Directed by: Alex Parkinson Screenplay by: Mitchell LaFortune, Alex Parkinson, and David Brooks Starring: Woody Harrelson, Simu Liu, Finn Cole

Morningside: Movie Review

Primarily about nothing, but also that violence is bad.

Small Canadian indies rarely get theatrical releases, so I want to support Morningside but are they ever making that hard. It’s a tragic drama about nothing. That’s a slight exaggeration on my part, the beginning is about gentrification and the ending is about senseless violence and systemic racism within police departments, but the full hour and a half in the middle is about nothing. The entire movie is establishing a dozen nondescript boring characters just for something to finally happen at the very end.		2025 Directed by: Ron Dias Screenplay by: Ron Dias, Joanne Jansen Starring: Alex Mallari Jr., Kiki Hammill

The Bayou: Movie Review

Some fun and a lot of bad ideas found in the Louisiana bayou.

Produced and filmed in England, The Bayou filmmakers took the only the two things they know about the southern US and turned it into a movie: gators and drugs. It’s not supposed to be a comedy, but it would be decidedly better if everything was played up for laughs like a horror-comedy instead of the thriller-drama that it’s supposed to be. Most jump scares are met with laughs instead of screams partly because you can’t take these characters seriously and the gators definitely become a bit far-fetched.		2025 Directed by: Taneli Mustonen, Brad Watson Screenplay by: Ashley Holberry, Gavin Cosmos Mehrtens Starring: Athena Strates, Madalena Aragão

Long Distance (AKA: Distant): Movie Review

Indie sci fi that starts fun and inventive but gets tiring and gross.

Originally called Distant, re-titled to Long Distance after finally getting released, is a sci-fi comedy/action/drama with famous people in front of and behind the camera, and one long weird and circuitous route to actually getting onto people’s screens. This was a 2020 COVID production with a screenplay by relatively new writer Spenser Cohen grabbing the attention of Hollywood directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck, who have multiple big studio comedies under their belt. Off to Hungary they go to film this small indie.		2024 Directed by: Josh Gordon, Will Speck Screenplay by: Spenser Cohen Starring: Anthony Ramos, Naomi Scott

Return to Office: Movie Review

I was not expecting Hallmark to make a clear and definitive anti-AI pro-artists statement with this movie, but here we are. Return to Office with such a cheesy title and a premise that could go wrong quickly continually surprises with how many things they get right. The first thing to get right is the casting. I love and will love Scott Michael Foster in anything and joining him is Janel Parrish who plays a somewhat uptight career woman but is increasingly more interesting.		2025 Directed by: Peter Benson Screenplay by: Steven J. Kung Starring: Janel Parrish, Scott Michael Foster

I Love You Forever: Movie Review

A subversive romantic comedy with all of the trauma and some of the comedy.

Sometimes distributors and PR firms describe films in ways that don’t exactly fit. But that’s not the case with I Love You Forever. “A subversive romantic comedy gone wrong” about an emotionally abusive relationship - is so spot on it’s brilliant. I couldn’t write anything better so I am borrowing their phrase. This is a good movie, but in an incredibly painful way. For anybody who has been in such a relationship, heed a warning, because this is likely to be traumatic revisiting it.		2025 Directed by: Cazzie David, Elisa Kalani Screenplay by: Cazzie David, Elisa Kalani Starring: Sofia Black-D'Elia, Ray Nicholson

Love Forever: Movie Review

A mediocre rom-com turns into a genuine and funny screwball comedy.

A Swedish romantic comedy where families and traditions clash at a rural wedding. Hanna (Matilda Källström) and Samuel (Charlie Gustafsson) are getting married on the island of Gotland off the east coast of Sweden, where Samuel grew up and his parents and family still reside. Most of the characters, but especially the central wedding couple, are well crafted. Hanna and Samuel both have real jobs where they’re in control but have an immature streak, setting us up for the comedy to come.		2025 Directed by: Staffan Lindberg Screenplay by: Staffan Lindberg Starring: atilda Källström, Charlie Gustafsson

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World: Movie Review

A messy movie with some good ideas and lovely romance.

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World takes place on the set of a reality dating show. A completed scripted show faked to appear real where women compete for some rich bachelor playboy. Until it coincides with reality, when the network owner dies but instead of leaving his estate to his son, he leaves him with a quest: find and marry the most beautiful girl in the world, and then inherit all of his wealth and assets.		2025 Directed by: Robert Ronny Screenplay by: Ifan Ismail, Titien Wattimena, Robert Ronny Starring: Reza Rahadian, Sheila Dara Aisha

When I'm Ready: Movie Review

An interesting world and engaging romance.

A young couple hit the road mere days before an asteroid is expected to wipeout humanity. Rose (June Schreiner) and Michael (Andrew Ortenberg) are planning the rest of their lives together, in so far that the rest of their lives is only going to be a few more days. It’s an epic and yet small journey, destinations are sometimes a little vague since they never know when, if, or even how their demise is going to occur.		2025 Directed by: Andrew Johnson Screenplay by: Andrew Ortenberg Starring: June Schreiner, Andrew Ortenberg

La Dolce Villa: Movie Review

Some really lovely moments and a whole lot of nonsense.

As has become common with so many Netflix comedies and romances these days, if you can get past the ridiculous premise, then there is a lovely tale of moving on and finding your next chapter in life. Eric (Scott Foley) is off to a remote village in Italy when his daughter has announced she’s buying an old villa for one euro. As Eric puts it, that’s a “bat-dad” signal if he’s ever seen one and is off to help get his misguided daughter out of whatever deal she has gotten herself into.		2025 Directed by: Mark Waters Screenplay by: Elizabeth Hackett, Hilary Galanoy Starring: Scott Foley, Maia Reficco, and Violante Placido

Death Before the Wedding (AKA: Zgon Przed Weselem): Movie Review

Only for those who find racism and misogyny funny.

There is indeed a death in Death Before the Wedding. While Mirek and his wife Regina are at their daughter Maja’s university graduation, they return to find the manager of the local dairy farm where they work has died. It’s an odd tone and and a weird plot, because in addition to supposedly being funny, all it has to do with the movie is creating a manager vacancy, and they occasionally make weird jokes. Personally I think if you’re naming the movie after a death that death should probably play a pivotal role.		2025 Directed by: Tomasz Konecki, Iwona Ogonowska-Konecka Screenplay by: Tomasz Konecki, Iwona Ogonowska-Konecka Starring: Tomasz Karolak, Agnieszka Suchora, Natalia Iwanska

Honeymoon Crasher (AKA: Lune de miel avec ma mère): Movie Review

Starting with a bad premise, it doesn’t get much better.

With a premise made for a bad comedy, Honeymoon Crasher mostly lives up to that promise. After Lucas gets dumped at the altar and he’s unable to get a refund for his really expensive, really beautiful, all-expenses paid honeymoon vacation in Mauritius, he agrees to let his mother come with him. At first she just offers as a joke, but he apparently thinks that is less pathetic than going alone.		2025 Directed by: Nicolas Cuche Screenplay by: Nicolas Cuche, Laure Hennequart, Laurent Turner Starring: Julien Frison, Michèle Laroque

With You in the Future (AKA: Contigo en el futuro): Movie Review

A light and fun rom-com turns into a tragically awful drama.

Elena (Sandra Echeverría) and Carlos (Michel Brown) are getting divorced. They are both very happy to finally be rid of each other, until they reminisce about how Cupid made a mistake bringing them together and then Cupid appears magically taking them back to the night they met. The Spanish-language romantic comedy starts fast and funny and then gets weirdly awful.		2025 Directed by: Roberto Girault Screenplay by: Robert Girault Starring: Michel Brown, Sandra Echeverría

Single Car Crashes: Movie Review

Grief, tragedy and moving on.

A lovely yet somber tale of a group of friends ten years after a tragic accident. Central character Sean (Trevor Morgan) survived the crash but he’s still barely living; he’s still working at the food court job he had when he graduated high school, he lives out of his car, and spends all of his days and nights drinking at a bar. He has a son who he sees and takes to school when he’s sober and has money for gas.		2025 Directed by: Brittani Ward Screenplay by: Brittani Ward Starring: Trevor Morgan, Lindsey Morgan

Heart Eyes: Movie Review

Funny and ridiculous mash-up of horror and rom-com.

With two genres that seemingly do not go together at all, horror and romantic comedy, Heart Eyes proves that they do make a rather compelling pair. And in other surprising news, its rom com elements shine a lot brighter than the horror plot. Each year on Valentine’s days, a serial killer known as Heart Eyes, roams a city looking for happy couples and murders them.		2025 Directed by: Josh Ruben Screenplay by: Phillip Murphy and Christopher Landon & Michael Kennedy Starring: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding

Good Bad Things: Movie Review

Love, dating apps, and muscular dystrophy.

Good Bad Things is mostly good things as Danny (Danny Kurtzman), a young man with muscular dystrophy who runs his own marketing agency, ventures into the world of dating apps. Danny, alone in bed, is scrolling through photos and videos of an ex-girlfriend, and then the next day meets with his accountant who tells him his business isn’t going to make it and needs to start letting people go now.		2024 Directed by: Shane D. Stanger Screenplay by: Shane D. Stanger, and Danny Kurtzman Starring: Danny Kurtzman, Brett Dier