Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Haywire: Movie Review

Haywire DVD cover art

One hot super agent and nothing coherent.

 Mallory Kane (Gina Carano) is some kind of secretive government agent or super-spy. We are never explained what she does because apparently all that matters is that she is very good at beating up fellow agents and killing bad guys, and vice versa. Everything that she does is complete nonsense. I’m assuming because she’s a girl, that’s supposed to be make it cool rather than stupid.

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

Screenplay by: Lem Dobbs

Starring: Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor and Michael Fassbender

Gina Carano as Mallory Kane in HAYWIRE, an Alliance Films release.
Photo credit: Claudette Barius.
The beginning is set in upstate New York where after she karate chops Channing Tatum to within an inch of his life, she runs away with Michael Angarano. I have loved his characters in all of his previous movies, but here, he willingly hands her his keys and she abducts him with his car and “explains” what’s going on. None of which made any sense but the only clarification he needed was with their names. I don’t even know what to say to that.

A third of the way through we settle down for a few moments without action in Ireland (this is after a trip through many different cities for no reason). The action didn’t stop so we could get to know characters; the action stopped so we could start getting interested in Mallory. She appears to have been set-up but by who and why is probably never going to get answered. So I think we’re only supposed to ogle at how sexy she is as she jumps over buildings and other such escapades.

It’s directed by Steven Soderbergh and at least there’s credit to that as the shots were beautifully crafted with great lighting and use of colour. There are many great actors but I have no idea why since none of them had anything to do, except dying. Actors do love their death scenes. But “Haywire” failed to give me any reason to watch this.